Why Don't My Doors Stay Open?
Soundtrack: “Risingson” by Massive Attack

Doors open and doors close, but it seems as though recently doors will close on me before I can even get there. Case in point: I was recently offered the Production Manager job for the CCD Community News. It wouldn't have paid much, but it would look awesome on a resume and give me plenty of experience. Now here's the catch... today I was informed by the Editor that production of the paper has been put on hold for reasons out of her control. Great. Just spiffy.

Then there are the ten million internships I've applied for. I'll get to a point where people are genuinely interested in utilizing my skills, and then completely flake out on me for no apparent reason. It's absolutely stellar for the self esteem, I'll tell you that.

I think part of the confusion that I am going through is due to having these doors slam shut in my face. I feel as though I'm recieving mixed signals in regards to the direction of my life. And it's incredibly frustrating.

Of course, there are times that I've completely dropped the ball, and I need to stop doing that. But I think it would help if I knew where the hell I am supposed to be right now.