My Own Little Personal Crisis
Soundtrack: "Midlife Crisis" by Faith No More

I'm 25 years old and I'm having a midlife crisis.

You may be asking yourself, "how is he having a midlife crisis?" Well, it's like this: I'm 25 and I feel like I've accomplished nothing. Nothing at all. When I look at my parents' lives and what my grandparents have done, I feel like a little bug smear on the winshield that is life. Diddly squat. Not only that, but I've been confused for about the past 5 years. Confusion on that scale is scary, and I often wonder if I'll ever be able to function in "real life". I haven't had a steady job in a long time. I only recently figured out what I want to study in school, and I've been in school for 6 years. And it doesn't help that my friends are dropping like flies to that sneaky predator known as marriage.

I am not conventional at all. I've tried hard to beat myself into fitting in, but I've accepted that it will never happen. It was like trying to smash a square peg into a round hole, and I'm done with that. So what I have to figure out is, what next? How do I support myself if I can't do the same typical things that everyone does? And more importantly, why? Why am I so damn crazy and why can't I ever get my brain to shut up? I'd really like to know these things. It would help if I could understand myself for once. Just a thought.