Finding Happiness In Depression
Soundtrack: "In Regards To Myself" by Underoath

Some say depression is a sin. I say those people are crazy. See, I've learned to thrive on depression. I've learned to take it and club it into submission. I do my best creative work when I feel like my world is collapsing around me. And there is nothing like the feeling of being right on the edge, of being in peril of falling over the edge of the cliff. It's an emotional adrenaline rush of sorts.

So what am I depressed about? Um, everything. Because I am afraid. I am afraid of fear and afraid of failure. I am afraid I may not accomplish anything I have set out to do. But I am not worrying about it. When I have these thoughts of fear, I send them up into my Beloved's hands because I know that only He has the strength to take them on.

Phoenix
You can not be real
But you claim to be me
I'd like to know how
To get you off my back (monkey)
These Autumn leaves burn red
As dos my blackened heart
These soldiers march through my soul
And occupy my mind

But I know
Something you don't
This fire
Purifies gold
Don't hold on
To what you've got
Let ye
Be judged and destroyed

I am so real
But not in this room
I watch my body burn
So I can rise again
These Autumn leaves burn red
As dos my blackened heart
These soldiers march through my soul
And occupy my mind

But I know
I will live again
This fire
Purifies me
Don't hold on
To what you've got
Lest it
Be taken from thee

I destroyed myself tonight
So I can fly again
This cleansing fire
And this pure water
Lift me up again

I destroyed myself tonight
So I can live again
This burning desire
And this pure soul
Will fly yet again