Clam Chowder
Soundtrack: “Climbing Up The Walls” by Radiohead

I appreciate the the men and women of the Denver Police Department are trying to keep our streets safe, I really do, but don't you think that giving someone a sobriety test because they forgot to turn their headlights on while driving on very well-lit streets in downtown Denver is a little much? Apparently not. Because tonight I was pulled over for not having my lights on. An honest mistake, our streets are very well-lit and safe. The cop asked me if I had been drinking and I told him not for a few hours. He asked me how many drinks I had and I told him two or three beers, which is what I indeed had consumed. He asked me if I had drank anything else and I told him no. So what does he do?

Mister cop thought it was funny to make me go through a sobriety check.

First off, I wasn't drunk. As I said before, I had all of three beers tonight, and I hadn't imbibed any fine alcoholic beverages in a few hours, so I was good to go. I wasn't weaving, I wasn't driving erratically, I just forgot to turn my lights on. Now, I'm not a graceful person. I have a horrible sense of balance and I'm just an all-around klutz with two left feet. On top of that I've never done that shit before so I'm nervous as hell. So I bobbled a little bit on one of the tests (the one where you hold your foot up a few inches off the ground and count until you fuck up). They let me go, of course, since I was perfectly sober, but he made it sound like I was wasted when he sent me off.

I don't usually drive, but my dad went off to go fight forest fires in California and so I have my parent's car for the weekend until my mom swaps it out for my dad's truck, which I'll have until my dad gets back from the fire, whenever that is. I haven't owned an automobile since 2003, and for good reasons. Insurance is expensive, Gasoline is ridiculously expensive, people like to drive like they total space cases, and now there's boyscout cops who like to spend their time harrassing me even though I was very clearly not drunk at all.

Other than that, I had a splendid day.