Get ready folks, 'cause I think this is going to be a long one. In fact, no... I know it's going to be a long one.

I have been thirsting for spiritual knowledge of late. And I don't mean drinking 4 glasses of water a day... I mean constantly craving any little drop of liquid I can get my hands on. I feel a certain separation that I don't quite know how to overcome. I thought it might be from a lack of going to church. And it is, to an extent, but it's not just that. I have really been struggling with finding a proper home. Scum Of The Earth has been my home for many years now, and it's been great. But I feel as though I am ready to take a step up, find a new home that is less social hub and more of a place where I can find real in-depth spirituality. Which is not to say that in-depth spirituality cannot be found at Scum... but I've been there for years, I know everyone there, and it's hard for me to completely focus in that environment. I think this particular thought, of wanting to flee the crowds, stems from my will to return to a simpler faith, one that mirrors that of the original Christians of Paul's day.

Here's where it gets interesting. I've been going through a slump lately. I've never been a fan of depression. Hell, I don't know anyone who likes it. It's something that I deal with from time to time. And lately there have been plenty of catalysts. Feelings of lonlieness, inadequacy, confusion and frustration about my life, and the already stated spiritual thirst. It makes it hard to function day to day because I don't feel like getting out of bed, I don't feel like going out and finding a job and doing the things necessary for living from day to day. And my mind gets especially mixed up and discombobulated to the point where I don't make very good decisions. But I press on, because it's what I need to do. And I'll get over it. I just need some prayers, that's all... I don't care what deity you pray to, it can be a toaster in the sky for all I care, I just need some kind of prayer and good thoughts.

By the way, I never explained why I am calling this blog "My Mind Is Dangerous". It's because it really is dangerous... I find it incredibly easy to destroy things. I'm honestly scared of what I am capable of, which is why this depression state happens... it's knowing that I am too scared to accomplish the things that I imagine. Don't ask me why I get scared, because I have no idea.