There Is Nothing Easy About This...
Soundtrack: "Not Dark Yet" by Bob Dylan

Not quite a year ago I decided I didn't like my life and I didn't like who I was. And I decided to change.

Needless to say, it's been hard.

There are still things that I don't like, stupid habits that make my teeth grind with frustration. But they are slowly fading away. And I've found a voice, my true voice in fact. I feel like I'm not good at speech. When I hear myself speak I hear myself stumble over my words and every now and then stutter. Which is ironic considering I'm pretty good at public speaking, and if I have time to think over my words and form a cohesive thought, things are all good. So to be able to do this, to constructively put my thoughts down in a somewhat eloquent way, well, I'm thrilled to pieces.

I'm also trying to be more patient. And it seems the more patient I am, the less I have to wait for things. I almost cried with joy this morning when I realized how many freelance design projects are falling into my lap. I don't care about the money, although I do have to pay bills. Every single project I do is experience, and that is what I'm interested in. And it's wonderful. Even the bad experiences are great, because they are opportunities to learn.

One thing is certain. I think this year is going to be good. Last year was hard on me, and the past semester wasn't easy, either. But I think that this is going to be my summer and ultimately my year. I can't wait.